A light has come on

Hi all,
My last post was when I became pregnant with my now 2 yr old son.  It has taken me this long to figure it all out and realize how much further I have to go.  I am working on getting back into fitness but I have finally learned the hard lesson that it really is 80% diet in this healthy life of losing weight.  I have struggled for so many years trying to find the right way, working my butt off in the gym and counting calories but to my dismay the pounds did not go away.  The great lesson learned is that not all calories are created equal.  There are bad calories and good calories and at the end of the day yes its all about intake and what was burned but when you eat garbage the weight does not come off.  I gave myself entitlement eating rights after working out for 90 hard minutes and really just ended up not gaining more weight from my crappy eating habits.  I have finally had the light turned on.  I gave up pasta 12 weeks ago, it was a trigger food.  See I came to realize I was a food addict, sneaking in ways to eat more, eating the wrong stuff.  I cannot eat pasta or fancy breads as I will clean out my cupboards, it will rule my world for several days and I just can't have that happening.  Some people can do the in moderation deal but I cannot.  It will take over my life and I have finally gained control.  It's empowering to figure it out, while I am still figuring it all out I have lost the most weight in recent months than I ever have.  I have blood work later this week so am excited to see if my liver is improving.  That is another story for another post but its a scary situation to be in and I am working smarter not harder to get it improved.  I hope to inspire others one day and feel I will be a great resource as I can honestly say I have been there and I get it.  
thanks for reading!
Melissa

delayed but for a reason this time

I will be coming back after a bit of a vacation of sorts.  At the end of August I found out we are expecting.  So I guess there was a good reason for that weight gain.  So half way thru my pregnancy and I am focusing on being healthy but have not been able to work out as much as I'd like due to sickness.  So I am hopeful that this spring brings a renewal of getting back on track.

starting over

So here I am sorta starting over yet again.  I am trying to adopt a way of eating that is ideal for those of us with PCOS and that will help rid me of all this belly fat.  I have worked so hard to just have my bp drop (which is great) but for a year I have busted my behind only to be the same size.  So with this new way of eating I do much better and in fact in the first 2 days I lost 5 lbs (yay) but then I went to my mom's house for 5 days.  We ate out on the road almost everyday.  I came home 7 lbs heavier :(  so now to start over mostly.  I have not been to the gym but twice in August so it's going to be hard going at first but I will get there...this is my mission to be healthier all around.

Getting off Track

Why is is so hard to stay on track or why is it so hard to get back into the swing of things once you fall off.  Even if its only for a day I find myself searching for excuses on why I can't eat right today, or can't make it to the y today, etc.  Its hard for me to fight this battle as I love working out and the new fitness level I have worked hard for but I still do this battle.  Same with eating, I refuse to live on shakes to loose weight.  I want to eat good to feel good and I do for the most part and there is a definite difference when I eat good and not so good in how I feel.  So once again why is it so hard to do something that feels so good in the end?  That's my question of the day.

Classes

Its been a bit since my last post but its been so crazy.  So wish I could be like some of these moms that not only have a handle on their houses and kids but have time to blog, journal, plan, coupon, cook meals and anything else that I am forgetting.  But my post is more about this journey.  I have gotten a work out buddy of sorts now (we'll call her H)  H works out with me most days.  We decided to take a 6 weeks session of aerobics and are taking all kids of different classes to shake things up a bit.  It's day 2 of this fun adventure lol.  I am so sore from all the push-ups that I want to scream!  We did boot camp yesterday (self explanatory) and today we did body sculpting of which the instructor told us she got the work out from and article titled body perfection for women..ouch is all I can say...tomorrow is a hip hop dancing class that I am most excited about... hopefully I will be able to lift my arms to allow for dancing motions..all sarcasm aside its that good pain from working muscles that you forgot about so it's all good.  :-)  

Back in Action

After a 2week break I am back in the saddle I guess you could say.  We had Influenza spread thru our house and its so hard still to work out as every time my heart rate gets pumping I start coughing so I am taking it slower than I'd like.  Awewell as my Dr says its not so much that I fall off the path its that I keep getting back on track and trying.

Eating....

Why is finding a good eating lifestyle so freaking hard to stick with?  I like things that are good for me, I like to cook good things and I don't eat out BUT this weight is not coming off.  Every week (at the winter melt down challenge) I see people put up numbers losing anywhere from 3-9 lbs a week and I'm sitting the same or once in a while I lose 1 or 2 lbs...I lost 3 last week but somehow gained them back again by the official weigh in day....arrrgh I am sooo frustrated.  Then I think to myself holy cow I must be eating terribly to keep my weight steady when I am working out so much harder than I was...
My problem is that I love to eat and I am sure portion control is part of the problem as too much of anything isn't good for me.  I feel like an addict sometimes, never feeling full or satisfied looking for my next hit of something I can get my hands on to make me feel satisfied.  Its like I need some warm bread from the oven on noodles or some other carb overload of badness to make me feel satisfied but that feeling only lasts a short while and then I am miserable and sick so the next day I stay on track and eat salads and veggies and chicken and all that I am supposed to eat and feel a loss for all the carb filled yumminess that makes me feel yucky lol...I think I am sick in the head  sometimes.  But on the days I eat better I feel more energized and better overall, so one would think that would motivate me to greatness...yea right then I crave more bread and pasta...now don't get me wrong it's not that the sandwich bread in the cabinet is in any danger its warn french bread or even plain speghetti...anyways I know it takes time and trial and error...I just hope my errors get less along with my weight....